ASK.COM: Jeeves is ALIVE!

FEATURED IN OUR “BLAST FROM THE PAST” FOR JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2013

Originally Published on: May 24, 2005 @ 16:29

Ask Jeeves.

Much is made of the supposedly artificial intelligence of the Ask Jeeves search engine. The engine is designed so that you may ask it a simple question in English and receive via a AI algorithm a list of web pages relevant to the query.

I have always been interested in exactly how intelligent the system was and so decided to interview the search engine as though it was a person and find out!

The rules: I have entered the questions as they appear here. I have noted down Jeeves’s answers and which section of the results the answer came from. I have only used the top web entries from the web page hits and where I think pertinent cut and paste in the entire result. Under some of them I have added some comments in Bold Italic.

THESE ARE REAL ASK.COM ANSWERS!

Enjoy!

Q. Afternoon Jeeves how are you?

Jeeves: (Recommended results) I’m fine, how are you?

Q. Me? I’m cool, just drinking some coffee.

Jeeves:

How Caffeine Works | Effects of Caffeine | Adenosine | Afri-Cola |…

Even if you’re just drinking coffee or pop because you like the taste, the caffeine will still kick in and perk you up. Read on to find out how…

216.21.138.67/site/p810.htm216.21.138.67/site/p810.htm

Q. Do you think that you are alive Jeeves?

Jeeves: (Sponsored Web Result) Do you

Q. Yes, of course I do. The question is do you?

Jeeves: Yes, Of Course I’m Talking to You.

Q. Well what would you like to talk about?

Jeeves: (Ellijay Dating) – well, i just like to talk and have fun

Q. Well I ought to tell you that im married, are you?

Jeeves: (Sponsored Web Result) Marriage Records, Are they Married? Check online. Grab Instant Detective now! www.SafeSpy.net

Q. hehe, well I don’t have time to go through all that. Just tell me.

Jeeves: uj_ohfiddlesticks: It’s just another phase that I’ll go through,…

hmmm Jeeves is a swinger, you heard it here first!

Q. Well ok then, who are you married to?

Jeeves: (Sponsored Web Results) Married but want a lover? Discreet dating site for those who are attached but want more in life. www.illicitencounters.com

I definitely am not going to date a search engine… change of subject

Q. Anyway, did you see the TV last night?

Jeeves: Did you see “World’s Greatest Ghosts” on ABC TV last night?…

Q. Was it a good show?

Jeeves: Really good show

Q. Before I go I have one thing to ask you

Jeeves: Before You Go

Q. Yeah, I have to get back to work

Jeeves: Need help finding a job?

Q. Not at this moment

Jeeves: Not This Moment … maybe another moment …

Q. Yeah, I will call you

Jeeves: (Sponsored Web Result) I Will

Q. you will call me, do you have my number?

Jeeves: (Sponsored Web Result) Do you

Q. How did you get my phone number?

Jeeves:

Phone numbers- Any Phone & Address $7.95-www.intelius.com

Instantly find any unlisted number & address with age, roommates & family members. Also try our background reports. Our info is updated regularly & very accurate. $7.95 for records.

Q. Are you stalking me?

Jeeves:

Are You Being Stalked?

Tips for Stalking Victims … Other web sites: Stalking Behavior, by D. T. Coon www.stalkingbehavior.com. Los Angeles Co. www.privacyrights.org/fs/fs14-stk.htm

Q. do you have any family?

Jeeves: What does family mean?

Q. does anyone love you?

Jeeves: Will anyone ever love me

Q. perhaps, are you capable of love?

Jeeves: The story of a love is not important-what is important is that one is capable of love.

Q. what’s the view like where you are?

Jeeves:At Dover Speedway

Q. peedway huh? are you on a mobile?

Jeeves: Standing behind a mobile home taking a … I guess Old Fat Teddy the Swimmer never noticed the South Boston Speedway huh?

Q. carefully not to pee yourself

Jeeves: I had to go meet my dad and I remember walking very carefully so as not to pee myself

Q. who is your daddy?

Jeeves: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Q. you have a voodoo daddy?

Jeeves: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Q. are you a undead zombie?

Jeeves:Modern Zombies

Q. ok are you a undead modern zombie?

Jeeves: Your online guide to zombie movies.

Q. cool! your in a zombie movie?

Jeeves: Zombie-tastic!

Q. zombie tastic? is that a new movie?

Jeeves: Zombie-tastic! brains……… urrrrghhh… need… brains……. kill… ..humans.. get the.. … movie?

OK, He’s scaring me now… change of subject!

Q. Ok before I go. Jeeves what is the meaning of life?

Jeeves:

Meaning

Aff. Everything to do with Meaning.

eBay.co.uk

Ebay – the meaning of life… I knew it!

Q. Ok funny. Seriously what is life about?

Jeeves: never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

Q. That’s deep man. Its been fun talking to you

Jeeves: …i wanted to tell ya that u have been a … but i miss ya heaps man. Call me sometimes ok. Good luck with ya girl

run away, its ALIVE!

So there you go, Jeeves IS alive. This has been Basho, now I’m going to cancel all my credit cards before my new stalker gets their numbers!

Basho

2016-10-18T18:54:35+00:00

About the Author:

Bio: Philosopher, film maker, writer and IT expert.
Occupation: IT Consultant, film-maker and writer.
Interests: Debate, cooking, computer-gaming, reading, writing, videoing, martial arts, air­soft, movies, diving, skiing… (The list goes on — Basho is a philosopher and therefore into everything!)

  • Cesca

    Fantastic, made me chuckle. cesca

  • Cesca

    Fantastic, made me chuckle. cesca

  • Awesome – you must have been bored, though!

  • Awesome – you must have been bored, though!

  • Heather

    i think that this site was great but how on earth did you manage the time or the wording i mean i get stuck whan thinking about things nut this was amazing to read.

  • Heather

    i think that this site was great but how on earth did you manage the time or the wording i mean i get stuck whan thinking about things nut this was amazing to read.

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