The SAS, the Paras and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend
together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the
trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the
woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook.
Night falls.
First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and
crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5
minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled “phut-phut” of their
trademark silenced double-tap. They emerge with a large rabbit shot
cleanly between the eyes.
“Excellent!” remarks the trainer.
Next up - the Para’s. They finish their cans of lager, smear
themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into
the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the
woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand
grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they
emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
“A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done”, says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs
whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is
only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie “Sierra Lima
Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you…” etc. After
what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” asks the incredulous
trainer. Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you
five hours ago!
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on
and night turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other
teams are awakened by the police, still holding the handcuffed
squirrel, now covered in bruises with one eye nearly shut.
“Are you taking the p***!!??” asks the now seriously irate trainer.
The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks:
“Alright, alright, I’m a rabbit!”
Found on Arnies
Basho & Cesca are traveling with:
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