New Ipod Adverts

This post was pub­lished over 700 days ago and there­fore may not rep­res­ent cur­rent Out­side Con­text think­ing or opin­ion. Please, do not let that detract from your enjoy­ment of it!

As usual Apple spend all their money on the advert and bypass the prob­lems with the device (there are FAR bet­ter music play­ers on the mar­ket.) But, you know, I think that Apple know that. In fact they are not actu­ally selling MP3 play­ers (some­thing that sounds geeky to even write.) No, they are selling a Life­style.

“Listen, listen to the music”

You see, the people in these adverts have made it. Made what? Mod­ern life. Every­one goes through the mod­ern world won­der­ing and in many ways hop­ing that someone out there, some cooler cat type guy who clubs and parties and still earns the bacon, is hav­ing it all. This is what Tyler was going on about in Fight Club, or Renton in Train­spot­ting. It is just a feel­ing, but it is an insi­di­ous one. Is it only a facet of the mod­ern world? Nope, no way. Take Zaphod Beeblebrox, he was way cooler than any­one. He had made it, whatever ‘it’ was.

And that’s the rub, nobody has it worked out. Nobody. Of course people claim to have it worked out, take the Beck­hams’ (no please take them.) Or Paris Hilton, or (and espe­cially) low end types like Jordan and that ugly footballer’s girl­friend. Have you seen the new ASDA adverts with her in? They are basic­ally por­tray­ing her shop­ping life­style to be ‘mak­ing it in the world.’

I won­der?

When hav­ing noth­ing spe­cial about you what­so­ever, apart from cash you get from your boy­friend, is ‘mak­ing it’ there is under­stand­ably a bit of con­fu­sion about most people’s life; “If that is the win­ning ticket what fucked up scratch card have I been given?” Con­sequently we lust after this feel­ing this ideal of exist­ence where ‘everything is cool’.

I was think­ing today that the new ‘mid life crisis’ is now at 30. I look at all my friends and co-workers and I can see that we are get­ting mar­ried later, liv­ing in sin longer, and all wish­ing for some­thing. Like a struggle. I put it to a friend today as:

Want­ing to get home phys­ic­ally tired and not just men­tally tired.

At 30 you have a choice. On one hand you have the rest of your life mapped out; mar­riage, house, kids, retire­ment, death. You can actu­ally see the future in the sense that you know what road you are on. And where, irre­voc­ably, it leads.

We do know where it leads; we have seen our par­ents and spent our entire child­hoods judging their lives.

Tell me, did you ever say to your­self, “I am not going to be like my par­ents when I grow up?” Because if you did and if you reach 30 “as planned” you quickly real­ise that the road you are on is just that. But does it have to be? This is the ques­tion that is driv­ing every one of my friends nuts:

“What to do with my life?”

On the one hand you have the fact that you may have made some pro­gress by 30. You may have a career, a wife, a house, think­ing of rais­ing some kids. If this is so are you won­der­ing “Is this it? This road is it? That is my life…sorted?”

Where is, to quote Jay, “…my fuck­ing movie check?”

This is a like a pain in the back of your head. And like all pains, we have developed cop­ing mech­an­isms. Such things as drink and drugs sure, but also more deep down things. We become obsessed with other people’s lives, espe­cially ones that can be per­ceived to be ‘worse’ or ‘bet­ter’ than ours. This is the power of TV soaps like East­enders (and why it is con­stantly depress­ing.) This is why Jordan is a star even though she has no dis­cern­able tal­ents. This is why life­style magazines are bought, or shop­ping magazines, or catalog’s. Things that tell us how to become ‘with it’ and ‘sor­ted’.

I had a friend who always used to say, “Got to get myself sor­ted this week.”

He said it every­day for the three years I knew him. Every­day. I sus­pect he prob­ably still says it now. I also sus­pect that he hasn’t done shit about it.

Like join­ing the gym, or going to that class you signed up for, “get­ting your­self sor­ted” is an aspir­a­tion without a goal. Every­one aspires to be thin and healthy but the mod­ern world has another trick up its sleeve.

Instant­an­eous­ness.

What?

Everything you need is at your fin­ger tips. It is empower­ing. You have so much choice. I have £20 in my pocket and I could spend it a mil­lion times on the way home. Every­one of those ‘oppor­tun­it­ies’ is beg­ging for my money. You get to the point very quickly that any­thing that requires effort like paint­ing, writ­ing, read­ing, believ­ing, talk­ing, and gym’ing becomes too much effort because “you are too tired.”

No won­der you are tired all that choice is dizzying!

“Put it in your head”

Moreover, If you ever want to know some­thing the don’t worry, you can find out instantly on the Internet!

Sound good?

It’s not, you don’t have to remem­ber any­thing any­more. Phone num­bers only live in your phone, not your head. Web addresses? PAH! just Google everything. Need to add some­thing up? Like your budget per­haps? Reach for Excel. Bet­ter yet simply Google for a pre-made spread­sheet to do it for you.

Res­pite comes in many forms that in fact only exacer­bate the prob­lem. Put­ting aside the harm­ful effects of drink or drugs, people like me col­lect gad­gets. Gad­gets that will sort out your life. But, of course, none of them do. They just make you want the next great gad­get, that one, that one will sort out your life*

In such a world it becomes almost impossible to ‘be sor­ted’ and the only thing you can wish for is peace from it all.

Which is where Apple comes in.

They sell you your peace. They tell you “Strap this thing to your head and ignore the crap com­ing in every ear. Ignore the prob­lems, ignore the pain,” and they tell you, they whis­per in your ear, that “this peace we will give you, it is the thing that will also make you cool.”

After all, being cool is the abil­ity to make some­thing hard look very very easy. To have it sor­ted. That is why sunglasses are cool, because walk­ing around in harsh sun­light is not easy, but I have my Police Sunglasses so I don’t have to squint!

What could be harder than mod­ern life?

Apple say to you that their device will make you an indi­vidual. Your tunes means your rules…

… and your moves.

Cool­ness is a trip. Your trip. After all, it is your life.

Right?

I know what you’re say­ing, you are say­ing some­thing like, “It is just a glow in the dark iPod, isn’t it?”

Is it?

Watch this advert and ask your­self, “How deep the rab­bit hole goes?”

“We will con­trol the lows”

Basho

*Believe me when I say that I am no bet­ter, even­tu­ally I got so annoyed of the gad­gets’ fail­ure to sort out my life, I went back to paper and pen. I went Low-tech and now use a Hip­ster PDA to man­age my department.

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