This post was published over 700 days ago and therefore may not represent current Outside Context thinking or opinion. Please, do not let that detract from your enjoyment of it! Well I have been busy all week and getting excited about receiving my new PC from Watford Electronics any century now.
As regular readers will know from the previous post on this matter, I am still waiting for my much delayed packages and have been assured that they will turn up Thursday the 15th. The fact that I am writing this on Friday the 16th and I don’t sound happy should give you a clue as to what I am about to relay.
Firstly, this time I was taking no chances. I had agreed Thursday the 15th on the phone with the delivery company, but I was not going to sit by and expect them to actually remember this or anything, so I rang them on Wednesday the 14th to check they were still there, everything was OK and the PC had not inadvertently turned into a hamster or evolved into a sentient life form and made a break for the tree line. My conversation started after two hours on hold and went like this:
“Hello, I am tracking parcel xxxxxxxxxx and am ringing up to double confirm you are going to deliver it tomorrow”.
“Oh, er, right… hold on” Cue impossibly long pause. “Right, yes it’s all ready and you will definitely get it tomorrow”
“Great. Can I just check you have my number?”
“Sure… 0207 xxxxxx”
“No that’s my work number, try 0208 xxxxxx or 07769 xxxxxx”
“Ok, and it is flat X, Queens Rd, Buckhurst Hill”
“No… (sigh) It is flat 3, Number xxx, Queens Road, etc”
“Ah right…”
“Look, I will fax all you could need, just deliver the bloody thing. I have been waiting 3 weeks for this and can wait one more day”.
“Ah bless” (she really said this!) “It will be any time between 9–6”.
Right. I definitely don’t trust them now. So I fax off directions to my house from Google. Directions so clear that an 86 year old blind Korean rice husker could find me and deliver something.
I get up on Thursday morning all excited like Xmas has come early. I plant myself in front of my front door buzzer and I have the wife check the buzzer works and everything is fine. I sit there getting on with some work I need to be ready for Monday.
Midday comes and no sign.
3pm comes and no sign.
At 4pm the phone rings. It is Watford Electronics Customer Service! This was when I realised that I was in the twilight zone. Watford CS has phoned me!? ME!? A customer!? I was so shocked that they had emerged from behind the rock they had been hiding for 15 days that I couldn’t even swear clearly and resorted to speaking Norwegian.
“SNOR BORG A SNIT SNARD!!”
“Sorry?” came the female reply.
“(COUGH) Sorry about that. I can’t believe you are calling me”
“Er now, your delivery was due for the 1st… and today is…”
“The 15th”
“Er… yes. Now Amtrak don’t do night deliveries”
“O’way? Do they not now? Now there’s a thing”. I was so angry I started speaking with an Irish accent. “H’er’way well, what are ye be doin’ about it?” Although at this point I started lapsing into pirate. “Me’harty” I added for good measure.
“So, er shall I refund the money for the delivery and book another?”
“Yes please, and don’t bother. I have spent so much time mucking around with you people I have organised it myself for today”
“Oh, OK. Fine”
“Thanks now bye”. Click… phone down. Point made. Letter to Watchdog formulating in my head.
So I wait…and wait…and wait…At 6pm I go buy a few beers and sit down. It didn’t come.
Friday… I wake with a permanent head ache. I am in a hardwired ass kicking mood. I get into work and after a mere (ha!) 50 minutes on hold I get through to the young lady who booked the delivery for Thursday. You know what she said? I assure you I couldn’t make this shit up…
“We don’t do night deliveries”
“GAHHHHH!” I scream
“Pardon?”
“You. You booked me a DAY delivery for Thursday, remember?”
“Oh er, well we have called head office about it, would you like their number?”
“No, I want my package”
“Monday?”
“I am at work” And then she said… (This is classic)
“I can book you a night delivery, if you want?”
“I tell you what, I am going to come and get it tomorrow. Will it be there?”
“Yes”
“It better be” SLAM! of the phone going down. Deep sigh.
I honestly think I may have died from stress there and then if I had not been paid today and just got my Xmas bonus. So I can take it. Suck it up man! Tomorrow, it is showdown at Amtrak Basildon. 8:30 am they open. I will be there and I will not be denied again…
Watch this space!
Continued HERE
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