10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

This post was pub­lished over 700 days ago and there­fore may not rep­res­ent cur­rent Out­side Con­text think­ing or opin­ion. Please, do not let that detract from your enjoy­ment of it!

10 Reas­ons Why Gay Mar­riage is Wrong

1. Homo­sexu­al­ity is not nat­ural. Real Amer­ic­ans always reject unnat­ural things like eye­glasses, poly­es­ter, and air conditioning.

2. Gay mar­riage will encour­age people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Leg­al­iz­ing gay mar­riage will open the door to all kinds of crazy beha­vior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal stand­ing and can sign a mar­riage contract.

4. Het­ero­sexual mar­riage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still prop­erty, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight mar­riage will be less mean­ing­ful if homo­sexual mar­riage were allowed; the sanc­tity of Brit­tany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun mar­riage would be destroyed.

6. Het­ero­sexual mar­riages are valid because they pro­duce chil­dren. Homo­sexual couples, infer­tile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphan­ages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obvi­ously gay par­ents will raise gay chil­dren, since straight par­ents only raise straight children.

8. Gay mar­riage is not sup­por­ted by reli­gion. In a theo­cracy like ours, the val­ues of one reli­gion are imposed on the entire coun­try. That’s why we have only one reli­gion in America.

9. Chil­dren can never suc­ceed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a soci­ety expressly for­bid single par­ents to raise children.

10. Gay mar­riage will change the found­a­tion of soci­ety; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adap­ted to cars, the service-sector eco­nomy, or longer life spans.

–Source unknown

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